Good conversation starters, by situation

This page has 150 conversation starters for adults, grouped by the situation you will be in, with a follow-up move for each group. The principle behind them is that a good starter refers to something you both can see or an opinion the other person can enjoy giving, so it is easy to answer.

Read the room before you pick. A comment suits a queue, a question suits a party, and a deeper one suits a long dinner. For a wider guide, see small talk, and for a place to begin, the What To Say openers.

What are good conversation starters for a queue or waiting room?

In a queue, comment on the wait or the place, since it is the one thing you share. Keep it light and let the other person decide how far to go.

1. This line is moving faster than I expected.
2. Have you been here before?
3. Do you know if this usually takes long?
4. What are you having, if you do not mind me asking?
5. That looks good. What is it?
6. I never know what to order here. Any tips?
7. Nice bag. Where is it from?
8. Are you here for the whole day or just passing through?
9. Have you tried the place across the road?
10. Long day?

Follow-up: if they answer warmly, add a fact about yourself and ask a second question. If they answer briefly, smile and let it end.

What are good conversation starters for a party?

At parties, lead with how people know the host, then move to what they enjoy. Everyone has an easy answer to the first.

11. How do you know the host?
12. What did you do this week that was fun?
13. Have you tried the food yet? What do you recommend?
14. What brought you here tonight?
15. Are you a friend from work or from somewhere else?
16. What is the best part of your year so far?
17. Did you come far?
18. Have you met many people here?
19. What do you like to do for fun?
20. Do you have any trips planned?
21. What is your favourite kind of party?
22. Have you been to one at this house before?
23. What have you been watching lately?
24. What is keeping you busy at the moment?
25. What is the best thing you have eaten today?

Follow-up: ask about the detail, not the topic. “You said you climb. How did you start?”

What are good conversation starters for the first day at a new job?

On a first day people expect questions. Ask about their path and the way the team works, since it is useful and friendly at the same time.

26. How long have you been here?
27. What is your role in the team?
28. What was your first week like?
29. What is the best thing about working here?
30. Where do people usually go for lunch?
31. What should I know that is not in the handbook?
32. Who is good to ask about tools and systems?
33. What do you enjoy most about your work?
34. Have you always been in this field?
35. Is there a regular team lunch or a coffee run?
36. What was your first project like?
37. What is a good way to learn how things are done here?
38. Are you working from the office today?
39. How do you like to be contacted for quick questions?
40. Is there anything I should try in the neighbourhood?

Follow-up: thank them and remember one thing. Next day, mention it: “I tried the noodle place, you were right.”

What are good conversation starters for work meetings and calls?

Before a meeting starts, the room is quiet and people welcome a light comment. Keep these to a sentence.

41. How was your weekend?
42. Did you do anything fun this week?
43. What are you working on today that you are excited about?
44. Have you had a chance to read the document?
45. Is anyone else already tired of this weather?
46. Did you find this new tool easy to use?
47. What was the best part of your week?
48. Have you had lunch yet?
49. Is that a new plant or was it always there?
50. What is on your reading list?
51. Did you catch the game or the show last night?
52. Where are you dialling in from today?
53. How is the project treating you?
54. Do you have any plans for the holidays?
55. What has been the best meeting you have had recently?

Follow-up: keep it under a minute and link to the agenda. “Right, shall we start with the first item?”

What are good conversation starters at networking events?

At networking events, people are there to meet people. Ask about what they work on and why, and be ready for the same question yourself.

56. What brought you to this event?
57. What do you work on?
58. What is the most interesting part of your job right now?
59. How did you get into this field?
60. What is a project you are proud of?
61. Have you been to this event before?
62. What are you hoping to learn here?
63. Who have you enjoyed talking to so far?
64. What is one thing you wish more people understood about your work?
65. What is changing in your industry that excites you?
66. What is the best advice you have received about your work?
67. What would you like to be doing in a year?
68. Do you have a favourite tool that saves you time?
69. What is the most useful thing you have heard today?
70. Is there anyone here you would recommend I talk to?

Follow-up: offer something in return. “I might know a person who does that. Want an introduction?”

What are good conversation starters for new neighbours?

Neighbours share the same street, so start with the area and let friendliness do the rest.

71. Have you lived here long?
72. What do you like most about the area?
73. Where do you go for coffee around here?
74. Is there a good place for groceries nearby?
75. Do you know anything about the local groups or events?
76. Are the bins collected on the same day every week?
77. Do you have any recommendations for a good plumber?
78. What is the best time of day to walk around here?
79. Is there a park you like?
80. Do you know any good takeaway spots?
81. Have you seen much change over the years?
82. What is the story with that old building?
83. Have you got pets? I saw a dog.
84. Do you get many visitors in the summer?
85. Is it usually this quiet?

Follow-up: offer your name and something useful. “I am Sam from number twelve. Knock if you ever need anything.”

What are good conversation starters for dates?

On dates, ask about what excites the other person. Curiosity about their joys makes the evening feel easy and warm.

86. What is the best thing that happened to you this week?
87. What are you passionate about?
88. What do you do that makes you lose track of time?
89. Where would you travel if you could go anywhere tomorrow?
90. What was the last show you loved?
91. What is your favourite way to spend a weekend?
92. What are you best at in the kitchen?
93. What was your favourite subject at school?
94. What is a small thing you love that most people miss?
95. What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?
96. What is your idea of a perfect meal?
97. What was your favourite part of growing up where you did?
98. What is a hobby you have wanted to try?
99. What does your ideal Saturday look like?
100. What is something you are looking forward to?

Follow-up: ask why. “Why that place?” tells you more about a person than the place itself.

What are good conversation starters for meeting friends of friends?

With friends of friends, the mutual friend is your shared topic. Use it as a warm-up and then move on to their own life.

101. How do you know our friend?
102. What is the story of how you two met?
103. Has our friend always been like this?
104. What is your favourite memory with them?
105. What is the funniest thing they have done?
106. What do you two like to do together?
107. What are you into these days?
108. Do you live near here?
109. What do you do when you are not with this lot?
110. Have you been to one of their parties before?
111. What is the best thing our friend has cooked?
112. What is your best story about them, if it is fit for a public audience?
113. Do you have a favourite place you go with them?
114. How long have you known them?
115. What is their most predictable habit?

Follow-up: switch from the friend to the person. “That is a great story. What about you, how did you end up in this city?”

What are good conversation starters for family gatherings?

At family gatherings, aim for warm and neutral. You are trying to connect with relatives without opening an old argument.

116. What is your favourite memory of a family gathering?
117. What was it like growing up where you did?
118. What was your first job?
119. What is a recipe you remember from your childhood?
120. What is a tradition you have kept up?
121. What is the best advice you were ever given?
122. What has been the best part of your year?
123. What are you looking forward to?
124. What is a place you loved living in?
125. What was the best trip you have taken?
126. What is a story about our family you love telling?
127. What did you want to be when you were young?
128. What do you do to relax?
129. What is the best thing you have learned recently?
130. What is a song you associate with a happy time?

Follow-up: listen for the story and thank them for it. “I had not heard that. I am glad you told me.”

What are good conversation starters for reconnecting with an old friend?

With an old friend, a warm, specific message works better than “hey, long time”. Refer to a shared memory and ask about their life now.

131. I was thinking about that trip we took and it made me smile. How are you?
132. I found an old photo of us. Do you remember that day?
133. I saw something that reminded me of you. How have you been?
134. What has been the best thing about the last year for you?
135. What is keeping you busy these days?
136. Do you still play or make what you used to?
137. Where are you living now?
138. What has changed the most for you since we last spoke?
139. What is one thing you are excited about right now?
140. Would you like to catch up over coffee or a call?

Follow-up: suggest a specific time. “Are you free on Sunday afternoon for a call?” It moves the message from nice to done.

What are good conversation starters for a lull or when you get stuck?

When a conversation stalls, go back to something they said earlier, or use one of these to reset the mood.

141. Going back to what you said earlier, how did that turn out?
142. What is the best thing you have watched or read lately?
143. What would you do with a completely free day?
144. What is one thing you are looking forward to this month?
145. What is a place you would love to visit?
146. What is a skill you would like to learn?
147. What is the most interesting thing you have learned this week?
148. What is your favourite thing about where you live?
149. What is something that made you laugh recently?
150. What has been on your mind lately?

Follow-up: pause and be comfortable with silence. A short pause is not a failure, and the other person will often fill it.

How do you make a conversation starter land?

A starter lands when it fits the moment, sounds like you, and gets followed by a real follow-up. Say it warmly, look at the person, then listen to the reply. Use a comment when the setting is fast and a question when there is time. If the answer is short, do not push. Add one line of your own, ask once more, and leave gracefully if the other person is not in the mood.

How can you practise this before it counts?

You can practise by saying your starters aloud before you need them. Record yourself trying five from this list. Rehearse with a friend who answers in short sentences. Or go to a club and use one starter per meeting.

Volo is an iPhone app with AI roleplay for this: “Breaking the ice in a waiting room” is free, and “Introducing yourself at a party” and “Joining a conversation full of strangers” go further. The coach grades three goals and quotes your own lines. What To Say has 61 scripts, including Breaking the Ice and Graceful Exits, in warm, playful or direct tones.