Pocket guide

What to say when it matters

Real lines for real moments. Volo's What To Say library has 61 situations across 8 categories, from breaking the ice with a stranger to telling a friend their cancelling hurts. Every line comes in three tones, warm, playful and direct, with a short note on why it works. Steal them or make them yours.

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Two free scripts per category

Breaking the ice

First words for strangers, groups and brand new chats.

  • Free script

    When you want to talk to a stranger at a party

    You've noticed someone who seems interesting, and every minute you wait makes walking over feel like a bigger deal.

    “Hey, I only know the host here, so I'm making myself talk to new people. How do you know them?”

    Why this works: The move in every one of these lines is the same: you say the quiet part out loud. I only know the host. I was about to check my phone. I came to say hello. When your motive is visible, people stop scanning for an angle and relax. And asking how they know the host isn't small talk filler, it hands them a story they already know how to tell, which is the easiest possible first ball to catch.

  • Free script

    When you join a group conversation already in progress

    There's a circle of people mid-conversation and no obvious door in. Hovering at the edge feels worse every second.

    “This looks like the fun corner. What did I miss?”

    Why this works: Groups don't want a new topic, they want a new audience. Every line here joins their momentum instead of redirecting it: what did I miss, catch me up, keep going. That's the whole trick. The person who walks up and asks a favor of the group ('listen to me') gets polite resistance. The person who walks up and pays the group a compliment ('this looked too good to miss') gets pulled in. Then just listen for a minute before you add anything.

Also in this category

  • ·When you get introduced and the introducer walks away
  • ·When you recognize someone but their name is gone
  • ·When you're seated next to a stranger at a dinner
  • ·When small talk stalls at "how are you"
  • ·When you want to talk to someone you see at the gym every week
  • ·When you message someone new for the first time

Awkward moments

For when the room goes quiet and your brain follows.

  • Free script

    When the conversation goes quiet

    The thread just ran out and you can feel both of you noticing. Three seconds of silence feels like thirty.

    “I keep thinking about what you said earlier, about almost moving abroad. What stopped you?”

    Why this works: Silence feels loud because you assume the other person is judging it. Usually they're just as relieved when someone moves first. The strongest move is a callback, not a brand new topic: returning to something they already said proves you were listening, and people would rather be remembered than entertained. Naming the lull out loud works for the same reason. It turns the awkward thing into a shared joke instead of a private failure.

  • Free script

    When you both start talking at the same time

    You both spoke, both stopped, both said "sorry, go ahead", and now you're trapped in a politeness standoff.

    “No, you first. I want to hear it, and I promise mine will keep.”

    Why this works: The collision isn't the awkward part. The loop of 'no you, no you' is, because nobody wants to look like they think their point matters more. Breaking the loop takes one thing: a decisive yield with a reason attached. 'Mine will keep' or 'then I've got one for you' tells them you're not just being polite, you've actually parked your thought and it's safe to talk. And if you do go first, keep it short. You're spending time they just gave you.

Also in this category

  • ·When you call someone the wrong name
  • ·When you didn't hear them the third time
  • ·When your joke lands flat
  • ·When you get caught not listening
  • ·When you wave at someone who wasn't waving at you
  • ·When someone points out that you've gone quiet

Graceful exits

Leave the conversation, keep the goodwill.

  • Free script

    When you need to end a conversation that won't end

    It was a good chat ten minutes ago. Now it's circling, you're late for the rest of your life, and there's no natural pause in sight.

    “I could talk to you about this all night, and that's exactly why I have to stop myself. I'm off to make my rounds.”

    Why this works: You don't need an excuse, you need a destination. 'I'm off to make my rounds' or 'I'm grabbing a drink' ends things cleanly because you're moving toward something, not away from them, and that difference is everything to how it feels on their end. Notice every line also closes on the relationship, not the logistics: really good talking to you, find me later. State the destination, appreciate the person, and then actually go. The exit only turns awkward if you announce it and keep standing there.

  • Free script

    When you want to leave the party early

    You've had a good time, and now you're done. But it's barely ten and you can already hear the chorus of 'nooo, stay!'

    “I'm going to sneak out while I still love everyone here. This was exactly what I needed.”

    Why this works: The 'stay!' chorus isn't really a request, it's affection with nowhere to go, so treat it as a compliment instead of an obstacle to negotiate with. That's why the strongest exits leave on a high note and say so: 'while I still love everyone here' frames leaving as protecting a good night rather than rejecting it. And never apologize for going. An apology invites a counteroffer, a warm goodbye doesn't. Hosts remember who seemed happy, not who left at nine thirty.

Also in this category

  • ·When you're cornered by a talker at an event
  • ·When a phone call needs to wrap up
  • ·When you want to move on at a networking event
  • ·When a text conversation has run its course
  • ·When guests won't leave and you're done hosting

Compliments

Give praise that lands and take it without flinching.

  • Free script

    When someone compliments you and you freeze

    Someone says something genuinely kind and your instinct is to argue with them or deflect it into the floor.

    “That really means a lot, thank you. I put more into it than it probably looks like.”

    Why this works: Deflecting a compliment feels like modesty, but it quietly tells the other person their judgment is wrong. Accepting it isn't arrogance. The formula is thanks plus one true sentence: about the effort, the meaning, or the person saying it. That extra sentence keeps it a conversation instead of a verdict. The playful versions work because they admit you enjoyed hearing it, and owning that is far more disarming than pretending you didn't.

  • Free script

    When you want to compliment a stranger without being weird

    Their jacket is great, their dog is perfect, whatever it is, you want to say so. You just don't want to make it strange for either of you.

    “Sorry to interrupt your day, I just had to say that jacket is fantastic. Okay, that's all, carry on.”

    Why this works: A stranger compliment is safe when it has two properties: it's about a choice, not a body, and it comes with a visible exit. Jackets, dogs, haircuts and kind acts are all things they chose, so praising them praises their taste. And 'okay, that's all, carry on' matters more than the compliment itself, because it announces you want nothing back. That's the whole difference between making someone's day and making someone uneasy. Drop the gift and keep walking.

Also in this category

  • ·When you want to praise a colleague's work so it lands
  • ·When someone shows you what they made and "nice" isn't enough
  • ·When you want to tell a friend what they mean to you
  • ·When a compliment feels backhanded
  • ·When you're praised in front of a group

Saying no

Turn things down without burning anything down.

  • Free script

    When a friend asks for a favor you can't do

    They need something real, you genuinely can't give it, and every draft of your reply sounds like either an excuse or a rejection of them personally.

    “I hate saying this, but I can't take that on right now. I'd do it badly, and you deserve better than my leftovers.”

    Why this works: A no to a friend goes down badly when it sounds like a ranking, like they didn't matter enough to make the cut. So the working formula separates the two: warmth about them, clarity about the no. 'I'd do it badly and you deserve better' is a refusal that contains a compliment, and it happens to be true. The second set shows the upgrade: a smaller real offer or a genuine redirect proves you actually engaged with their problem instead of just dodging it. What you don't do is manufacture excuses, because excuses invite workarounds and then you're negotiating.

  • Free script

    When you're invited and you don't want to go

    There's no conflict, no excuse, no scheduling problem. You just don't want to go, and 'I don't want to' feels illegal to say.

    “Thank you for thinking of me, honestly. I'm going to pass this time, I need a quiet one. Have the best night.”

    Why this works: Made-up excuses feel safer but they carry two hidden costs: they can collapse (you're home, tagged nowhere, clearly free) and they teach the person to solve your excuse ('the next one is Saturday, you're free then!'). 'I'm going to pass this time' can't be argued with because there's nothing to solve. The line that saves the relationship, though, is 'keep inviting me', because the real risk of declining isn't this party, it's quietly falling off the list. Say no to the event and yes to the person, ideally with a specific counteroffer, and you can decline for years without losing anyone.

Also in this category

  • ·When someone asks to borrow money
  • ·When you have to cancel plans without burning the friendship
  • ·When someone won't take your first no
  • ·When family asks for a commitment you can't make
  • ·When a salesperson won't let go

Hard conversations

The talks you keep putting off, made sayable.

  • Free script

    When you have to apologize and mean it

    You were wrong, they're hurt, and 'sorry you feel that way' is not going to cut it. This one has to be real.

    “I've been thinking about what I said, and I was wrong. Not 'wrong if it upset you'. Wrong. I'm sorry, and I understand if it takes a while to feel okay.”

    Why this works: A real apology has a structure, and most failed ones break it in the same place: the pivot to self-defense. The working sequence is name it, own it, skip the explanation, ask what they need. 'I was wrong, not wrong if it upset you' matters because conditional apologies quietly relitigate the case. And 'what do you need from me' does something an apology alone can't: it moves the power back to the person who lost some. One more rule: no 'but'. The word 'but' deletes every word that came before it.

  • Free script

    When a friend keeps canceling on you

    Third cancellation in a row, always with a decent excuse. Individually they're all fine. Together they're starting to say something, and it stings.

    “No stress about tonight. Can I say one thing though? That's three in a row, and I'm starting to wonder if something's up. With you, or with us.”

    Why this works: The mistake here is prosecuting each cancellation, which they'll win every time because each excuse really was fine. The honest conversation is about the pattern, not the incidents, and 'that's three in a row' names the pattern with math instead of accusation. The other essential is leaving a real exit: 'if life's just chaotic, I get it' lets them tell you the truth without a fight. And 'can you take the next one' is the quiet masterstroke, because it converts your complaint into a test that answers itself. If they book it, the friendship's fine. If they don't, you have your answer without another conversation.

Also in this category

  • ·When someone owes you money
  • ·When you have to tell a friend something they don't want to hear
  • ·When someone crosses a line with a "joke"
  • ·When you have to deliver bad news
  • ·When a friend is grieving and you don't know what to say
  • ·When you disagree about something big with someone you love

Work moments

Meetings, bosses and moments your career notices.

  • Free script

    When you disagree with your boss

    They've proposed something you think is wrong, everyone else is nodding, and the cost of speaking up feels very visible while the cost of silence is invisible.

    “Can I push back on one piece of that? I might be missing context, but I see a risk there and I'd rather raise it now than in the retro.”

    Why this works: Disagreeing upward goes wrong when it sounds like a referendum on the boss instead of the idea, so the working structure signals loyalty to the goal before challenging the path: 'I'm on board with the where, I'd challenge the how'. The phrase 'I might be missing context' isn't weakness, it's an exit ramp you're building for them, because a boss who can say 'good catch, here's what you didn't know' never had to lose face, and bosses who don't lose face don't hold grudges. And 'I'll do it your way, but I want my concern on the record' is the honest endgame: you get heard, they get to decide, and the retro remembers who saw it coming.

  • Free script

    When you're interrupted in a meeting

    You were mid-point, someone talked over you, and now the conversation is moving on with your sentence still hanging there unfinished.

    “Hold that thought, I want to land my last point first. Then I'm curious where you're going with that.”

    Why this works: The window to reclaim the floor is about three seconds, and the move has to be calm, immediate, and completely unapologetic, because 'sorry, can I just maybe finish?' asks the room for a favor while 'let me finish the point, two more sentences' informs the room of a fact. The time-box is the secret ingredient: 'thirty seconds' or 'two more sentences' makes granting the floor cheap. If the moment passed, the recovery is the re-entry: 'before we move on, I didn't get to the second half'. Nobody remembers you were interrupted. They remember whether the point got made.

Also in this category

  • ·When you need to ask for a raise
  • ·When you don't understand and everyone else seems to
  • ·When you made a mistake and need to own it
  • ·When a coworker takes credit for your work
  • ·When you're put on the spot with a question you can't answer
  • ·When you run into a senior person at the coffee machine

Dating moments

Honest moves for dates, sparks and almost-relationships.

  • Free script

    When you want to ask them out

    You like them. You're pretty sure they might like you. Someone has to convert this from a maybe into a plan, and it's apparently going to be you.

    “I really enjoy talking to you, and I'd love to take you to dinner. Properly, as a date. What do you think?”

    Why this works: The word doing all the work here is 'date', because the classic failure mode isn't rejection, it's ambiguity: 'we should hang out sometime' protects you from a no by making a yes meaningless. Naming it as a date plus naming a day converts feelings into a decision they can actually make. The playful line's trick, confessing the scheming, works because vulnerability about nervousness reads as confidence, strange as that math is. And build the ask from something they said, like the ramen place, because remembered details are the strongest evidence of interest that exists.

  • Free script

    When the first date conversation stalls

    The interview questions are used up, the food hasn't arrived, and you can feel the date's pulse dropping. Somebody needs to shock it back to life.

    “Okay, forget the standard questions. What's something you're weirdly into that never comes up on dates?”

    Why this works: First dates stall because both people are running the same safe script, job, siblings, apartment, and safe scripts have an ending. The rescue isn't a better question from the same list, it's naming the script and stepping off it: 'we're both doing the polished version' is a small honesty that gives the other person permission to be interesting, and permission is usually all they were waiting for. Questions about oddly specific enthusiasms outperform biographical ones because they let people show personality instead of reciting credentials. A stalled date isn't failing, it's asking to go one level deeper.

Also in this category

  • ·When you want a second date and don't want to play games
  • ·When the date is going well and you want to say so
  • ·When you want to end the date early without cruelty
  • ·When you're not feeling it and they ask again
  • ·When you want to define the relationship
  • ·When the texting momentum has died

Questions

Fair questions

What do I say when the conversation goes quiet?

Go back to something they said earlier. "I keep thinking about what you said about almost moving abroad. What stopped you?" A silence is not a problem; the panicked scramble to fill it is.

How do I say no politely?

Short, honest and warm, with no essay. "Thank you for thinking of me. I'm going to pass this time, I need a quiet one. Have the best night." Then stop talking.

How do I end a conversation politely?

Leave at the peak and name the exit: "I could talk about this all night, which is exactly why I have to stop myself. I'm off to make my rounds."

Are the scripts free?

The first two in each category are free in the app. The rest, and the three-tone versions of every line, unlock with the 7-day free trial.

Keep the right words close.

Save the lines you love to My Lines and train the moment behind each one with a linked lesson or roleplay.

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